Thursday, January 27, 2022
John was my father and I can attest that his first mission in life was to ensure that his children had more opportunities than he had. John didn't attend college but insisted that his children do so and he worked with relentless grit and determination to guide us and provide the necessary resources . One time, and one time only, I brought up the thought of not attending university. The conversation was short lived when he responded with two words "you're going" and that was the end of the discussion. He had that piercing look in his eyes that there was no negotiation and I knew better than to attempt to continue dialogue with a man so focused on my best interests when he was doling out the tough love that was often needed. During the early years, we lived in a one bedroom apartment in the Bronx. My sister and I were given the bedroom while mom and dad slept on a pullout couch. He made life so much fun that we had no idea that others had more advantages than we did at the time. However, his drive to become successful was implacable. He worked countless hours Mondays through Saturdays, often falling asleep on the train covered in the chemicals from working in the film lab that he founded. Many times he would wake up at the last train stop and go directly back to work without making it home. Despite his dogged work ethic, he found time every Sunday to spend time with his children taking us for pony rides at the Bronx Zoo or rowing in Van Cortlandt Park lake, even when he was completely exhausted. His kindness extended to other family members and those that he met. My grandfather bought several bungalows in upstate New York so that his grandchildren could get out of the city during sweltering Bronx summers. Dad would come up on weekends and he would be the one adult that would dig fire pits and take all of my cousins on (literally every) Saturday night marshmallow roasts telling stories and making life fun for all of us. With all of his kindness, John had a tough side and it would be best not to cross him, even at 5'6' generously listed. He used his height as an advantage and loved to be underestimated which would be a tremendous oversight for one to make. He taught me and my friends how to box at the age of four, a necessary skill back in the 60's for kids growing up in the neighborhood. Friends that I made during later years often told me that he taught them self-defense and trained them in their garages. He even found time to coach baseball and softball teams that we played on while playing volleyball and softball, sports were integral components of his competitive nature. John was also decades ahead of his time when it came to equal treatment and respect of all humans from diverse backgrounds. He put himself squarely in front of others during threatening situations protecting those in danger during his military years. In the 1940's and 1950's, many of his closest friends were people of color. John found material success later in life and he enjoyed having those advantages though they weren't very important to him, his joy came from sharing those fortunes with his family and he always helped those with less. He connected with a homeless man near his office and often brought him food and gave him a few dollars every Friday. I remember how grateful this individual was and his face was filled with joy with every encounter that he had with John, a random person that appreciated help and dad made his life better in small ways. When I think of my father, I see someone that was incredibly well adjusted, patient, kind, giving, fun and a joy to be around. A mentor and leader, never one to back down and always living a principle centered life. An old school legend and I'm fortunate to have been in his presence and to have had him as a father. He will be dearly missed and the world lost a loving soul that positively influenced the lives of countless others. Rest in peace my dear and loving father, you were loved, appreciated and we were in awe of you and all that you did for us.
