Friday, July 21, 2023
It is hard to know what to say about Mickey. There is just so much to say about this extraordinary woman. For almost twelve years, Mickey and I have been related. In-laws and friends. In the past two years, we became dear friends who happened to be related. I had the privilege of sharing Mickey’s cancer struggles with her at meetings with her oncologist, Dr. Joshua Harris. I got to learn firsthand of her warrior spirit as she was willing to put her body through whatever rigors chemo had to bring if it came with the potential to add to her days, which it did for a long period considering Mickey’s starting point. I remember Dr. Harris saying once when Mickey refused to miss or delay the next infusion -- “I’ve never had a patient who liked chemo as much as you.” She did not enjoy chemo at all, and certainly not the aftermath. She enjoyed the thought that she was adding days of life, not primarily for herself but for her family, friends, and loved ones, and that each side effect she endured represented more days to be a mother, grandmother, sister, and friend to people she loved so well. Then as often happens in life, a new curse turned into a surprise blessing. After I had a mild seizure, I was banned from driving for six months. It drove me nuts, and my two main drivers became two stage 4 cancer patients, my wife, Dorothea, and Mickey. I could no longer drive to pick Mickey up. Mickey would often pick me up for her oncology conferences and bring me home. That should have been about a 25-minute trip each way, but sometimes she took detours home that added ten minutes or more to the ride. Had Dorothea done that, I would have said, “What the heck are you doing” as soon as she started on a weird route. I didn’t ask Mickey for a while, but eventually had to say, “Mickey, just curious, why do you go to Lloyd Neck this way?” She would repeat that she liked to drive (which she seemed to) and that after John couldn’t drive anymore, she would often take him on sightseeing drives to nowhere like this that he seemed to enjoy a lot, and Mickey said she certainly did. She just wanted to go that way again. That led immediately to discussions about John, the kids, and family - near and far -- and life. I learned new, delightful things about Mickey and her life, and I loved every moment, every sentence of chit-chat. If Mickey had found more circuitous routes home, I would have been delighted. I guess I will end where I should have started. I love Mickey and miss her greatly and I do not intend to stop either of those things for the rest of my days. Goodnight, dear heart. // Warren C.
